Just make the sandwich already

I'm sure I'm in a severely limited minority when it comes to choices. I really don't want that many choices. I know we talk about "freedom of choice", and "choosing our own destinies" and such, and that's all fine and well. But every day I have to decide, "Debit or Credit?", "Paper or Plastic", "Do you want room for cream?" (I always specify that I want my coffee black, but I suppose some baristas have an uncanny ability to pour coffee that stays black even after the addition of cream.)
A plethora of choice is just as bad as a dearth of choice. Which brings me to today's rant. Sometimes, I just want to grab a sandwich and get back to my desk.I have too many decisions to make as it is, so when I grab lunch, I want to decide on a sandwich, pay for it, and go back to work. What could be simpler?
Well, at either Subway, or Submarina (the west-coast version of subway) the answer is almost anything. Seriously, at either of these sub-chains ordering a sandwich makes cold-fusion look simple.
You have to specify each and every element and ingredient that goes into your sandwich. By the time I get to the register, I could have made the sandwich myself, and been back to the office. I tried to circumvent their procedure droids once, and it was not pretty. They had a new sandwich, something like a teriyaki chicken sub. I said "I'd like a teriyaki chicken sub, and I want you to make it exactly like it is in the picture." (thinking I'd cleverly found a way around the endless questions.) The clerk said "What kind of bread?", I said "Whatever that bread in the picture is". Then he started studying the picture, until, exasperated, I said "white -- just use white". Then he said, "what kind of cheese?"I responded, "whatever that cheese in the picture is". So he determined it was provolone (round and white). Then -- "You want Olives?" I said "Are there olives in the picture?", he looks at the picture, then at me, then says "uh,... yeah".
I understand that a LOT of people like to customize their sandwiches, I do too. At home. But when I go to a sandwich shop, I expect the folks they hire will know the basics of putting the sandwiches together. For example, I shouldn't have to choose a type of cheese to go on a meatball sub.
I remember as a kid, there were delis around here that would simply tell you "no" if you ordered something wrong. "No, the pastrami comes with mustard, not mayo". (as it should) If one establishment made a killer chili dog, you'd go there for chili dogs, because they made the best. They probably wouldn't make the best if they let the customer specify each and every step in the dog's construction. That's why they're the "chili dog man". They've perfected the process. I'd go to one shop for a cold cut sub, and another for chili dogs, based on their respective strengths.
Not nowadays. Choice is king, even when the person making the choice doesn't know their subject.
When I go into an eating establishment, sometimes I don't even know what I want, but if I can ask the clerk, "what would you have?" and they come back with the specialty of the establishment, I'm grateful. And I'll order that most of the time.
But when I go into an establishment and I have to tell them each and every step, ingredient, etc... what am I paying for? Makes me think I should open my own sandwich shop and call it "Make your own dang sandwich".

Sorry for the rant, but I wanted to get that off my chest. I've actually had some fairly successful experiments this week, and I hope to get some of them posted over the weekend.

A desperate plea to Grocers

This isn't a recipe. It's more of a rant. I'm planning to post a recipe tomorrow for Lumpia. Lumpia is kind of a Filipino eggroll. I was introduced to it when we lived in San Diego, and I love the stuff. They're typically a bit longer and thinner than Chinese eggrolls.
Anyways, I kept forgetting to pick up egg roll wrappers. And I also needed some cabbage and green onions. So I went to our local grocery to get the items I was missing, and while I was reaching for the green onions, the spritzer went off. That brings me to my plea.
If you are a grocer, or the manager of a grocery -- please, Please, PLEASE -- stop soaking the produce!! I don't know where this absurd practice started, but it really needs to stop. Water doesn't make produce fresher. Nobody believes you just brought it in from the field out back, still holding the morning dew. One grocery store I frequent even plays a recording of thunder, and flashes some lights before the spritzer goes off. Like I'm witnessing a thunder-mist-storm. How empty headed do you think I am?
The only thing wet produce does, is spoil faster. Which is why I think they soak it. So I have to buy it more often.
Alright, --my apologies readers, tomorrow I'll tell you about our lumpia, but this evening, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Now I feel a bit better. Until I have to buy more produce, at least.